Welcome to Detroit Sports Forum!

By joining our community, you'll be able to connect with fellow fans that live and breathe Detroit sports just like you!

Get Started
  • If you are no longer able to access your account since our recent switch from vBulletin to XenForo, you may need to reset your password via email. If you no longer have access to the email attached to your account, please fill out our contact form and we will assist you ASAP. Thanks for your continued support of DSF.

Andy Rooney On Sex

kalinecountry

Moderator
Moderator
Joined
Aug 2, 2011
Messages
189,815
Detroit Lions
Detroit Tigers
Detroit Red Wings
Boston Celtics
ANDY ROONEY ON SEX!

1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big pecker or a good
memory.... I don't remember what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom
factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings..."

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -
'don't' and
'stop', unless they are used together.

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing
on earth.

7. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and
Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a good
partner, you better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.


12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Question: What's an Australian kiss?
Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was
happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.

15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life?
Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.

16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.

17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many
men still sleep with their wives!

Send to the men who need a laugh and the women with a good sense of
humor!
 
Hmm, funny? Not so much with this imo. Usually a big fan of his stuff.
 
Last edited:
man, I do NOT like to read the words "Andy Rooney" and "sex" in the same sentence.
 
Back
Top