Gallons of Gallon

[MasterfulMindofMitch]

http://thevictorsreport.blogspot.com/2013/10/gallons-of-gallon.html

Recap of the Michigan v. Indiana game. If you read it, let me know how you like or dislike the new format. I am trying to find something more interesting yet still informative. Hopefully within the bye week I will find something even more eye catching to read.

 

[bamf_16]

Mitch, how old are you if you don't mind me asking?

 

[MasterfulMindofMitch]

Mitch, how old are you if you don't mind me asking?

I am 19

 

[bamf_16]

I am 19

It reads like it. You're not bad at all, but it reads like late high school/early college material.

My best advice for your writing would be for you to finish your blog post, and take an hour or so away from it.

When you come back, read it out loud and listen to how the words come across. Content wise, it's good. But some of your word usage and flow could be improved with that last bit of proofreading.

Gardner showed the nation what he is capable of again since the Notre Dame game. Read this out loud and listen to it. It sounds awkward.

Be definitive in your verbs. Michigan didn't "end up dropping 63..." Michigan dropped 63 on Indiana.

IN the third quarter things got away...

"The defense wasn't great, nor was it the worst." This doesn't make sense. You needed either "the defense wasn't the best, nor was it the worst" or "the defense wasn't great, but it did not cost them the game."

You don't "say" anything in a blog post. You type it or you make the point of it.

Avoid weak words like "good." Outscoring them is not a successful tactic, or prudent tactic, etc.

I know I seemed to harp on the negative, but truly, I mean it when I type to you that you have something good here, and I think you're one step away from really giving us something of value to read. Good luck with it.

 

[MasterfulMindofMitch]

It reads like it. You're not bad at all, but it reads like late high school/early college material.

My best advice for your writing would be for you to finish your blog post, and take an hour or so away from it.

When you come back, read it out loud and listen to how the words come across. Content wise, it's good. But some of your word usage and flow could be improved with that last bit of proofreading.

Gardner showed the nation what he is capable of again since the Notre Dame game. Read this out loud and listen to it. It sounds awkward.

Be definitive in your verbs. Michigan didn't "end up dropping 63..." Michigan dropped 63 on Indiana.

IN the third quarter things got away...

"The defense wasn't great, nor was it the worst." This doesn't make sense. You needed either "the defense wasn't the best, nor was it the worst" or "the defense wasn't great, but it did not cost them the game."

You don't "say" anything in a blog post. You type it or you make the point of it.

Avoid weak words like "good." Outscoring them is not a successful tactic, or prudent tactic, etc.

I know I seemed to harp on the negative, but truly, I mean it when I type to you that you have something good here, and I think you're one step away from really giving us something of value to read. Good luck with it.

Oh I don't mind criticism at all, I need more of it! Thanks for all the advice, I'm studying Journalism but haven't gotten into my major yet, still working on my GECs. So everything I'm doing is basically just off what I think is correct or whatever haha. Anyway, thanks!