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cheeno
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Funny take on ranking the head coaches by DJ Gallo ESPN...Andy Reid definitely my favorite with Jim Caldwell a close second.
Jim Harbaugh and Jim Schwartz gave us the first great football-coach fight of the new century. With the NBA shut down and baseball about to end, coach boxing would be an outstanding fill-in sport.
Here are the updated Coach Boxing World Rankings:
Lightweight
5. Jim Schwartz -- He tried to fight above his weight class against Jim Harbaugh and didn't come off looking too good. He's feisty, but he's the kind of guy you just hold back with one hand while he flails away throwing wild punches that don't reach you.
4. Steve Spagnuolo -- He's a little guy from Massachusetts. All he has to do is throw one punch and Hollywood will make him into a boxing legend.
3. Mike Shanahan -- It could be that he goes tanning, or it could be that he's boiling with rage. Beware.
2. Raheem Morris -- He's young and he's in shape, but he'll struggle to move up the ranks because fighting out of Tampa means that no one will ever pay to see his bouts.
1. Mike Tomlin -- Yes, I realize Tomlin is probably a little heavy for the lightweight class, but you try finding five football coaches who are less than rotund.
Middleweight
5. John Harbaugh -- John Harbaugh is older and less ferocious than his brother. He's the Dicky Eklund of football coaches.
4. Pete Carroll -- "Undefeated, undisputed champion" is just a longer way to say "Win Forever."
3. Todd Haley -- Haley probably watched the Harbaugh-Schwartz confrontation and got angry because he has never punched a coach. You don't want to mess with that kind of crazy.
2. Gary Kubiak -- Kubiak has a background as an athlete and he'd come out swinging from the opening bell, wanting to end the fight quickly before his opponent can land a blow that would mess up his hair.
1. Jim Caldwell -- For all we know, Jim Caldwell is one of those robots from "Real Steel."
Heavyweight
5. Mike McCarthy -- McCarthy would be motivated to bring an actual championship belt to Green Bay. Unfortunately, he would probably fight less like an "Iron Mike" and more like a "Dairy Mike."
4. Andy Reid -- He may not look too imposing, but don't forget that Butterbean forged a long boxing career. Good luck getting a body shot in on Reid that he'll feel. Your best chance is probably knocking him down once, and then assuming he'll mess up the count and get to his feet long after the ref counts to 10.
3. Rex Ryan -- Ryan would only be an average fighter, but he would pull in huge pay-per-view numbers with his outrageous pre-fight boasts and predictions.
2. Bill Belichick -- Belichick doesn't look like much of a fighter, but he'd probably head-butt you and bite your ear off when the ref isn't looking.
1. Jim Harbaugh -- Harbaugh was listed at 6-foot-3, 215 pounds during his playing career, and he's only gotten bigger since then. Throw in his 14-year NFL career and his relatively young age and he's a better athlete than the other heavyweight coaches. Heck, considering the state of boxing, with a week or two in the gym he could probably dominate the real heavyweight division.
Jim Harbaugh and Jim Schwartz gave us the first great football-coach fight of the new century. With the NBA shut down and baseball about to end, coach boxing would be an outstanding fill-in sport.
Here are the updated Coach Boxing World Rankings:
Lightweight
5. Jim Schwartz -- He tried to fight above his weight class against Jim Harbaugh and didn't come off looking too good. He's feisty, but he's the kind of guy you just hold back with one hand while he flails away throwing wild punches that don't reach you.
4. Steve Spagnuolo -- He's a little guy from Massachusetts. All he has to do is throw one punch and Hollywood will make him into a boxing legend.
3. Mike Shanahan -- It could be that he goes tanning, or it could be that he's boiling with rage. Beware.
2. Raheem Morris -- He's young and he's in shape, but he'll struggle to move up the ranks because fighting out of Tampa means that no one will ever pay to see his bouts.
1. Mike Tomlin -- Yes, I realize Tomlin is probably a little heavy for the lightweight class, but you try finding five football coaches who are less than rotund.
Middleweight
5. John Harbaugh -- John Harbaugh is older and less ferocious than his brother. He's the Dicky Eklund of football coaches.
4. Pete Carroll -- "Undefeated, undisputed champion" is just a longer way to say "Win Forever."
3. Todd Haley -- Haley probably watched the Harbaugh-Schwartz confrontation and got angry because he has never punched a coach. You don't want to mess with that kind of crazy.
2. Gary Kubiak -- Kubiak has a background as an athlete and he'd come out swinging from the opening bell, wanting to end the fight quickly before his opponent can land a blow that would mess up his hair.
1. Jim Caldwell -- For all we know, Jim Caldwell is one of those robots from "Real Steel."
Heavyweight
5. Mike McCarthy -- McCarthy would be motivated to bring an actual championship belt to Green Bay. Unfortunately, he would probably fight less like an "Iron Mike" and more like a "Dairy Mike."
4. Andy Reid -- He may not look too imposing, but don't forget that Butterbean forged a long boxing career. Good luck getting a body shot in on Reid that he'll feel. Your best chance is probably knocking him down once, and then assuming he'll mess up the count and get to his feet long after the ref counts to 10.
3. Rex Ryan -- Ryan would only be an average fighter, but he would pull in huge pay-per-view numbers with his outrageous pre-fight boasts and predictions.
2. Bill Belichick -- Belichick doesn't look like much of a fighter, but he'd probably head-butt you and bite your ear off when the ref isn't looking.
1. Jim Harbaugh -- Harbaugh was listed at 6-foot-3, 215 pounds during his playing career, and he's only gotten bigger since then. Throw in his 14-year NFL career and his relatively young age and he's a better athlete than the other heavyweight coaches. Heck, considering the state of boxing, with a week or two in the gym he could probably dominate the real heavyweight division.
