List of asshole names

[Michchamp]

if your name is on the list, there's a high probability you are an asshole. in no particular order:

Brett
George
Richard (and you go by Dick)
Urban
Carter
Sean
Lester
Steven (and you go by Steve)
Connor
Dane
Dakota (and you are not Native American)
Shia
Justin Bieber
Alexander
your name appears on this list
other: you have a Roman numeral after your name

and to be clear, this isnt a definite thing, but based on probability and statistics.

am i missing any?

 

[Mitchrapp]

Justin Beiber, lol.

 

[tinselwolverine]

What about the name Jeff Smith, like the name of the iconic every man portrayed by Jimmy Stewart in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington?

Is a person named Jeff Smith more likely to be an asshole, or more likely to be fly and heroic like the character in the movie?

 

[spockmaster]

Hitler.

 

[grandy]

Throughout my school years, every Derek I knew was both an asshole and a trouble maker. Pick any Derek in the area and they were probably suspended or expelled at one point.

This is just a personal account, so I don't know if this counts.

Oh, and Chris Brown.

 

[Michchamp]

What about the name Jeff Smith, like the name of the iconic every man portrayed by Jimmy Stewart in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington?

Is a person named Jeff Smith more likely to be an asshole, or more likely to be fly and heroic like the character in the movie?

well, it's mostly about 1st names. and of course, it's highly scientific; the "Justin Bieber" thing was the only joke.

Jeff was not on my list; it's a lower risk, but still risky name. E.g. all the names on the list are > 50% chance of a-hole-ishness. Jeff would be in the 40%-50% category.

Throughout my school years, ever Derek I knew was both an asshole and a trouble maker. Pick any Derek in the area and they were probably suspended or expelled at one point.

This is just a personal account, so I don't know if this counts.

Oh, and Chris Brown.

Those polled knew a few decent Dereks, so it was a lower probability; 30% - 40% a-hole-ishness range.

Chris is higher; same category as Jeff.

 

[Thumb]

Damn, George Brett must be a giant asshole.

 

[Thumb]

What about people who name their kids those names?

I ran in to a girl I went to HS with not long ago, and I swear to god she named her 3 daughters, Mercedes, Porsche (pronounced like Portia), and Lexus. If she had a son she would have probably named him Spartanmack.

 

[Michchamp]

What about people who name their kids those names?

I ran in to a girl I went to HS with not long ago, and I swear to god she named her 3 daughters, Mercedes, Porsche (pronounced like Portia), and Lexus. If she had a son she would have probably named him Spartanmack.

people that name their kids these names are not necessarily also a-holes, unless they knowingly do so. maybe they admire George Washington, or something like that. or Brett Saberhagen.

But that brings me to another point: just because one's name is on the list doesn't mean they are an a-hole, just have a name that implies more likelihood they will be one.

you can add "whatever spartanhack's real name is" to the list in the OP

 

[byco42]

What about people who name their kids those names?

I ran in to a girl I went to HS with not long ago, and I swear to god she named her 3 daughters, Mercedes, Porsche (pronounced like Portia), and Lexus. If she had a son she would have probably named him Spartanmack.

She would have named the son Audi or Bentley.

 

[tinselwolverine]

She would have named the son Audi or Bentley.

What about 3?

Like a Mazda 3?

 

[tomdalton22]

What about 3?

Like a Mazda 3?

"Seven"....Mickey Mantle's jersey number!

 

[Thumb]

She would have named the son Audi or Bentley.

Heh, another kid I went to HS with had the nickname Bentley. But not because of the car, but because he looked like that dude on The Jeffersons.

 

[turok]

Many of the people that I knew or dealt with that were in management for several businesses, who used only the first initial of their first name along with their full middle and surname on correspondence and memos tended to be narcisstic assholes.

Then there are those whose occupations are perfectly befiiting for their names, such as:

http://www.wellness.com/dir/2471590/obgyn/va/fairfax/harry-beaver-md

 

[tomdalton22]

Many of the people that I knew or dealt with that were in management for several businesses, who used only the first initial of their first name along with their full middle and surname on correspondence and memos tended to be narcisstic assholes.

Then there are those whose occupations are perfectly befiiting for their names, such as:

http://www.wellness.com/dir/2471590/obgyn/va/fairfax/harry-beaver-md

lol

There is a Urologist in my area...his name is Dick Tapper. He specializes in vasectomies.

http://health.usnews.com/doctors/richard-tapper-132915

 

[byco42]

I had a former writer-colleague who used all three of his names in e-mails and in introductions. I thought that odd. He worked for me and I eventually fired him because he refused to edit a 1,000 word article to 500 words. He said "it would destroy the integrity of the piece." Suffice to say this was not going to appear in the The Smithsonian or even Esquire.

 

[Spartanmack]

What about people who name their kids those names?

I ran in to a girl I went to HS with not long ago, and I swear to god she named her 3 daughters, Mercedes, Porsche (pronounced like Portia), and Lexus. If she had a son she would have probably named him Spartanmack.

people that name their kids these names are not necessarily also a-holes, unless they knowingly do so. maybe they admire George Washington, or something like that. or Brett Saberhagen.

But that brings me to another point: just because one's name is on the list doesn't mean they are an a-hole, just have a name that implies more likelihood they will be one.

you can add "whatever spartanhack's real name is" to the list in the OP

Obsess much?

Neither my nor my son's name is on the list. But I would take the asshole list over the dumbass or whiny sissy list any day. Based on probability and statistics, there's no doubt your names, whatever they may be, are 1 & 2 on both those lists.

 

[tigersofjustice]

Chet, Chip and Chad. Basically any name beginning with a Ch.

 

[Spartanmack]

What about 3?

Like a Mazda 3?

Zoom Zoom Tinsel. Sounds very Hollywood, has a nice ring to it, could be gender neutral and ZZT - pretty cool initials.

 

[Michchamp]

Chet, Chip and Chad. Basically any name beginning with a Ch.

not Chet Lemon though