Strange dichotomy you have worked out there.
Not strange at all. Living under authoritarian government is not really living. Better to die fighting against that than to "live" under it.
You don't get that because you support Socialism, which IS an authoritarian government. You think it would be great because they would force everyone to live a specific lifestyle. In your vision, everyone is happy and lives well.
Of course the truth and reality is they will be forcing you to live in ways you do not like and if you complain they will at best throw you in jail until they feel you will no longer complain, but you will never grasp that fact until it happens to you. Afterwards you will then fight against it, but they will have taken away guns so you have no weapons worth a damn to fight with. All your protests will put you back in jail again, at best. Eventually you get so fed up you believe itis better to die than continue "living" like that, at which point you think back on this entire thing and finally understand that it is not "strange"...it is hard truth.