Just a personal note

[tomdalton22]

There was no news story run. The local paper, which I work for, doesn't run stories like these until trial. That's normal. Too many times these turn out to be BS accusations, and they refuse to ruin someone's name over false allegations.

I was told by my boss that if any other news outlet ran the story, they would have to to protect their reputation as a news source. Can't have it appear as though they are protecting an employee and all. But no one else ran it, so we never did either.

My wife is an amazing woman. She stood by me from the beginning, and new the charges were a lie. To be fair... she also had every reason to know it was a lie.

My daughter had made some comments and threats against me... veiled stuff, before the actual charges happened. We took the step of protecting me from whatever she might do by making sure I was never alone with her. My wife delivers newspapers... so when she delivered, the step-daughter went with her and slept in the back seat. When the wife went to the store, the step-daughter went with her.

Having a little bit of insight that something might be coming allowed us to protect ourselves (or so we thought) from any dangerous allegations. As it turns out, CPS didn't care that I was never in a room with her without another adult present, let alone in the house without adult witnesses. Their statement was "family is willing to lie for each other".

So while it didn't help in their civil case, my wife did know how impossible these charges really were from jump. Still, I am more amazed than anyone that my wife was right there with me through thick and thin. Like you, I expected divorce papers.

At one point a CPS worker even told her "if you just lie, and say he did it, we can make all of this go away" and she refused to send an innocent man to prison, no matter what. I can't say I agree with her... but I can say I am blown away by the strength of her conviction.

I know it's hindsight...but couldn't she have legally separated from you in order to keep the kids? Then when everything is clear you could have gotten back together? I think I would have done anything possible...even divorce or separation to keep the kids (not saying you didn't, just a thought I had sitting here)

 

[tbone413]

I know it's hindsight...but couldn't she have legally separated from you in order to keep the kids? Then when everything is clear you could have gotten back together? I think I would have done anything possible...even divorce or separation to keep the kids (not saying you didn't, just a thought I had sitting here)

That thought crossed my head as well.

 

[inkfreq]

I know it's hindsight...but couldn't she have legally separated from you in order to keep the kids? Then when everything is clear you could have gotten back together? I think I would have done anything possible...even divorce or separation to keep the kids (not saying you didn't, just a thought I had sitting here)

Yes, that was in fact an option we looked into. We were assured by both our attorney and the department (CPS) that it was not an option.

We did in fact separate for about a month. I moved in with my sister for the time being, as CPS requested I not be in the house. After a month I was given the okay to return, which we thought was leading to progress. We were wrong.

In 15 months, you would be surprised at how many things you can try or come up with to try to satisfy the situation. In our case, all of them failed.

We sat in parenting classes with drug addicts stoned out of their minds on meth, who were getting their kids back. There were people in these classes who had burned their kids with cigarettes as punishment... getting their kids back.

And the whole time it was made clear to us that we could go through the entire process, and they wouldn't have to prove a thing. They simply had to tell the judge "We are not comfortable returning the children" and we were never going to get them home.

 

[elrod817]

Hey DSF family! Anyone here familiar with crowdfunding campaigns? Might be worth creating one to help get ink back on his financial feet, or at least help with some bills. I know they often take a long time to get funded, but it seems worth a shot.

Anyone think they can tackle this? I could try, but if someone else has actual experience, they would be a better option, IMO.

That is, with your permission ink. Sorry, don't mean to step on your toes or potentially create undue stress or anything. Some people feel funny about getting money through crowdfunding, so it is your call, but I think I speak on behalf of many that you deserve it after going through all that.

And what about one of those change.org petitions to get Arizona to change their fucked up law? I'm not the savviest interwebs guy, so I don't know much about creating them, but maybe shine a light on how completely botched this thing has been from point A til now...and maybe shed a little light on the political side...someone ruined ink's life for political gain. That's messed up...

 

[zyxt9]

My goodness, I just did some quick google searching...this is a major fucking problem not only with ink's case but MANY cases where kids have been taken away and never returned to the parents after their cases were deemed "unfounded" (as opposed to unsubstantiated which means there wasn't enough evidence to convict...unfounded means the cases never went to trial because the accuser was deemed to have made a false accusation, sometimes by failing polygraph tests or recanting prior to taking polygraphs...among other reasons).

This is a massive problem. While feminist groups have their understandable concerns, they skew the stats to say only 2% of cases are false accusations, other data suggests it is closer to 30%. And people never seem to get their lives fully back together, whether due to public opinion or the extreme expenses or other reasons.

It is immoral that this nation turns its back on people who are falsely accused. I get that there is concern that women, especially children, who have actually been raped might not pursue charges if it appears guys who are actually guilty would just be found innocent, and then the woman/girl might be wrongfully pursued for falsification. It is obviously a tricky thing, I'm sure even ink would agree there are challenges to that side as well and no man worth his salt wants a man guilty of rape to go unpunished.

But when the accusations are deemed unfounded, that is extremely different from unsubstantiated. It appears there are thousands of men being falsely accused and falsely imprisoned, many times due to false accusations from children. Those are the most challenging for multiple reasons, all of which are understandable. But when a child has fully recanted and the lies are completely exposed, then damn it there should be some type of compensation back because in those situations people like ink are victims without any recourse of action.

I hate adding to the laws already on the books, but something needs to be done. The fact that fathers and mothers - make no mistake there have also been mothers falsely accused of rape who end up in similar situations - lose their children due to false accusations...so fucking wrong. How often do people say they cannot imagine anything worse than losing their child in death? Seems this would be close to that, but with the hope for their child to one day locate their parent(s) and reunite with them after they go through their own drama from the adoption process.

 

[cheeno]

Scary stuff Ink. I think every man on this board is putting themselves in your shoes and imagining what it would be like. And really it stops right there. As much horror as we can conceive going through, unless it is happening to you personally at the end of the day you can really only just begin to imagine. Stay strong brother.

 

[zyxt9]

hey ink, just thought of another angle to try....if possible.

is there any way your lawyer can contact your daughters? if so, it seems your daughters would have every right to sue the state / police / CPS?

while YOU have no recourse based on how things went down and the current laws, if even one of your daughters has suffered from this experience and can justifiably claim they have been damaged by the experience, then maybe they can at least sue to be returned to you...and with that maybe demand financial compensations that are at a minimum equal to all of the attorney fees.

has that angle been shot down by everyone as well? I mean, they all claim to have the child's best interest as their primary concern...well, what happens when the kid fights back and sues them for having just sat on the evidence? the police are the reason why the children went into the adoption process. not the person who filed the false accusation, not the person falsely accused, not even the DA...but the police department who did not release crucial information until after the 15 month window, which is a gross misconduct at a minimum, quite possibly worse.

by having the child file the lawsuit, the courts will really be in a quandary. "we have the child's best interest at heart"...well, then have the child file the lawsuit and fucking blow up their position. the child should have the right to sue the state for damages due to the state personnel (police) not performing their duties and the resulting traumatic experiences that I am quite certain resulted in PTSD at a minimum.

 

[kingofdetroit57]

Monster, not that it's not a tad humiliating, but you guys are my boys, so I will fill you in.

In April of 2013, I was accused by my oldest step daughter of raping her. Let me stop here and say she is very mentally disturbed, so bear that in mind.

Over the last several years, I have been going through an ordeal with CPS, who refused (despite all evidence to the contrary) that I was innocent.

In the process, I was accused of being a drug addict who shot up into my junk in front of my kids. My wife was accused of being an addict as well.

Medical tests were run on my girls, all were returned negative. I passed 13 drug tests, including a hair follicle test that went back over a year, and came back clean.

My daughter posted a video on social media admitting she lied and even went so far as to try to fake medical evidence (and failed) in order to get even with me for grounding her from her cell phone.

In January of last year, I was arrested after being indicted by a Grand Jury on 12 counts of rape. My son (how he came into this I still don't know) was arrested the same day on four counts of rape.

Over the last year, we have both been facing the possibility of life in prison, because in Arizona, even one count can put you away for life. A man recently got 306 years with no possibility of parole for fewer counts.

The Prosecutor decided to look a little deeper. She found out about the video confession from my attorney, because the cops never gave that to her. She found out that during interviews with my daughters, my oldest step-daughter told the girls she would kill them in their sleep if they didn't go along with her story. She found out about the medical exams and drug tests.

She determined that there was no case here, and that my oldest step-daughter was clearly lying. She chose to re-interview her, and by step-daughter told her I was holding a knife to her making her shoot the video confession. However, when the video was made, I was in Louisiana, not Arizona, and had all my travel receipts from work.

The prosecutor knew I was innocent and my daughter was lying. My case has now been dismissed, and my daughter, who is 18 now, is being charged with falsifying information in an investigation.

Long story short, my life has been hell for several years now, and I was due to go to trial for a life sentence (or what amounts to it anyway) tomorrow morning.

Wow... that's terrible man. Glad to hear that you were finally cleared.

Someone I know went through a very similar thing about a decade ago. Young girl said he raped her at a party despite there being no evidence of it, and witnesses to the contrary. They came to his work and arrested him and held him in jail for a while until he made bail. He lost the job, but charges got dropped. A few months later, charges got reasserted. They came to his new job and arrested him and jailed him for a second time. He got a court appointed attorney and bail pretty quickly the second time around. The prosecutors were pressing him hard to take a plea deal for like 5-10yrs because he had two prior retail fraud felonies from when he was like 17 or 18 y/o from stealing some CDs from the store he worked at. I guess they thought they'd scare him into copping a plea because he'd be facing life as a habitual offender, which was a farce. He smartly refused. It finally went to trial and he was found to be not guilty. The girl and her mom just made everything up for some reason.

It is amazing how quick some of this stuff can run out of control. I just watched Making of a Murderer this past weekend, and it sure seems like it might have happened twice to that guy. That's a crazy ordeal there.

 

[inkfreq]

hey ink, just thought of another angle to try....if possible.

is there any way your lawyer can contact your daughters? if so, it seems your daughters would have every right to sue the state / police / CPS?

while YOU have no recourse based on how things went down and the current laws, if even one of your daughters has suffered from this experience and can justifiably claim they have been damaged by the experience, then maybe they can at least sue to be returned to you...and with that maybe demand financial compensations that are at a minimum equal to all of the attorney fees.

has that angle been shot down by everyone as well? I mean, they all claim to have the child's best interest as their primary concern...well, what happens when the kid fights back and sues them for having just sat on the evidence? the police are the reason why the children went into the adoption process. not the person who filed the false accusation, not the person falsely accused, not even the DA...but the police department who did not release crucial information until after the 15 month window, which is a gross misconduct at a minimum, quite possibly worse.

by having the child file the lawsuit, the courts will really be in a quandary. "we have the child's best interest at heart"...well, then have the child file the lawsuit and fucking blow up their position. the child should have the right to sue the state for damages due to the state personnel (police) not performing their duties and the resulting traumatic experiences that I am quite certain resulted in PTSD at a minimum.

I am not sure, but that's something to check into.

 

[inkfreq]

My goodness, I just did some quick google searching...this is a major fucking problem not only with ink's case but MANY cases where kids have been taken away and never returned to the parents after their cases were deemed "unfounded" (as opposed to unsubstantiated which means there wasn't enough evidence to convict...unfounded means the cases never went to trial because the accuser was deemed to have made a false accusation, sometimes by failing polygraph tests or recanting prior to taking polygraphs...among other reasons).

This is a massive problem. While feminist groups have their understandable concerns, they skew the stats to say only 2% of cases are false accusations, other data suggests it is closer to 30%. And people never seem to get their lives fully back together, whether due to public opinion or the extreme expenses or other reasons.

It is immoral that this nation turns its back on people who are falsely accused. I get that there is concern that women, especially children, who have actually been raped might not pursue charges if it appears guys who are actually guilty would just be found innocent, and then the woman/girl might be wrongfully pursued for falsification. It is obviously a tricky thing, I'm sure even ink would agree there are challenges to that side as well and no man worth his salt wants a man guilty of rape to go unpunished.

But when the accusations are deemed unfounded, that is extremely different from unsubstantiated. It appears there are thousands of men being falsely accused and falsely imprisoned, many times due to false accusations from children. Those are the most challenging for multiple reasons, all of which are understandable. But when a child has fully recanted and the lies are completely exposed, then damn it there should be some type of compensation back because in those situations people like ink are victims without any recourse of action.

I hate adding to the laws already on the books, but something needs to be done. The fact that fathers and mothers - make no mistake there have also been mothers falsely accused of rape who end up in similar situations - lose their children due to false accusations...so fucking wrong. How often do people say they cannot imagine anything worse than losing their child in death? Seems this would be close to that, but with the hope for their child to one day locate their parent(s) and reunite with them after they go through their own drama from the adoption process.

I've seen all the same stats man. Believe you me, I spent several years documenting, and yes, it's a problem way out of control.

Here in Arizona the problem was compounded by the former governor. It seems that thousands of CPS reports of abuse and sexual abuse went completely uninvestigated. The department closed the books and never looked back, and in some cases, very guilty people walked away.

This all came to light about the time my case was starting. The Governor, Jan Brewer, came down on CPS like a hammer, and demanded they fix the issue. I'm sure Mitch, being from Arizona, can tell you all about that.

Well, instead of looking at the evidence in a very fair way, they did everything they could to paint me as guilty and make sure their asses were covered in the other direction. They came at me as hard as they did because they were in the spotlight for not doing their jobs at all.

There are entire groups, larger than ours here, dedicated to helping parents cope with the after effects of CPS. They have almost limitless power in all 50 states, because they get to bring civil trials, typically with no jury, and their burden of proof is "because we say so".

 

[inkfreq]

Scary stuff Ink. I think every man on this board is putting themselves in your shoes and imagining what it would be like. And really it stops right there. As much horror as we can conceive going through, unless it is happening to you personally at the end of the day you can really only just begin to imagine. Stay strong brother.

This is going to be weird to hear, I am sure... but it actually got easier on me after my arrest.

I spent so long dealing with the panic of "what if", I developed a very strong case of PTSD from it. Iraq couldn't give me PTSD, but my daughter managed to.

So for years, every time I heard a car door, I came out of my socks wondering if the police were coming to take me away. I won't go into all the details, because it's embarrassing to be honest, but I was living for three years in absolute terror every minute of every day, because it didn't seem like anyone was willing to believe me.

Then I was arrested. I was instantly afraid for my son. But for me... the fear was gone. I resigned myself to believing no one was ever going to think I was telling to truth, and I would die in prison one day.

As bad as that may sound... the reality of knowing was far better than the terror of not knowing. I can handle dying. I can handle prison, though not happily. I was having a very tough time with people who refused to look at my case juggling my life around like it was a little rubber ball, making me wonder what would happen.

I'm sure no one will fully comprehend what I have been through without going through it themselves, but I also imagine that when you say every guy is putting himself in my shoes... you're pretty damned close. Closer than you think.

Your mind instantly goes to things like how will my wife make it financially? Will I lose my house? Will my closest friends and family believe I am guilty? ... will I be a free man to see the Superbowl this year? Yes, that was a constant, as was Star Wars.

All the thing you are thinking about when imagining it? They are the exact same things you think about when you go through it.

 

[mhughes0021]

Ink, glad you can focus on moving forward. Im having a hard time coming up with words to describe your situation....I always try to put myself in the situation and im pretty good at gauging how I would feel.....but not in this case. Had to be tough. Youre the man.

 

[inkfreq]

Ink, glad you can focus on moving forward. Im having a hard time coming up with words to describe your situation....I always try to put myself in the situation and im pretty good at gauging how I would feel.....but not in this case. Had to be tough. Youre the man.

Brother.. I am a life long Lions fan. Yes, it was tough, and will be for a while to come.....

But if the Lions can't break a man... NOTHING can.

 

[kalinecountry]

Well brother, this is where the story doesn't end so happy.

I have five children. MY son is 22. My daughters are 18, 14, 13, and 10.

In Arizona, once a CPS case has been opened and children removed from the home, the parents have 15 months to complete a case plan for re-unification of the family or the state will adopt the children out.

CPS was damned and determined that I was guilty. They put together a case plan that required certain things to be met as part of a civil trial. I had to take parenting classes for 6 months. I did that. Then I had ot submit to a psychological evaluation to determine abusive traits. I did that and passed. I had to submit to a psychosexual evaluation. I passed that (and let me tell you, that is ultimate humiliation to go through). I had to submit to all the drug tests. Passed them all.

Their last two requirements were that my wife had to admit to the court that I was a an abuser, and beat her often... and that I had to plead guilty to raping kids. That guilty plea would lock me (and apparently my son) away for life.

If it meant getting my kids home, I was willing to spend life in prison wrongly. But i couldn't do that to my son. I couldn't wreck his life, and my attorney guaranteed me that even if I did, they would just add more conditions to the case plan anyway.

The cops sat on the key pieces of evidence long enough to help CPS out, and my girls were adopted out by the state in October.

Long and short, innocent or not, I lost custody of my girls for failure to complete the case plan within the 15 months window... basically I didn't plead guilty in a civil trial, so they took them from me anyway.

So, that is no longer a factor for me. And that is the hardest part to deal with.

Inkfreq, while reading what you wrote to me, and everyone thereafter, I was thinking the same as zyxt9 in bringing your own civil suit to those who withheld evidence that would have cleared you instead of it dragging out and turning out so heartbreaking. You absolutely should look into that and if possible have that prosecutor help you.
Prayers for you, your wife, and kids, well all but the one that broke your family up as she did. Getting through all this as you did, you can survive anything that life throws at you in the future. I hope the future will be as great for you as this situation was awful.

 

[ruff]

glad to hear it ink, very glad your still going to be around with us

 

[inkfreq]

Inkfreq, while reading what you wrote to me, and everyone thereafter, I was thinking the same as zyxt9 in bringing your own civil suit to those who withheld evidence that would have cleared you instead of it dragging out and turning out so heartbreaking. You absolutely should look into that and if possible have that prosecutor help you.
Prayers for you, your wife, and kids, well all but the one that broke your family up as she did. Getting through all this as you did, you can survive anything that life throws at you in the future. I hope the future will be as great for you as this situation was awful.

I appreciate all the well wishes KC.

I'm a believer in "that which does not kill you makes you stronger". In the last few years, I have gone through this, a neck surgery that nearly left me paralyzed for life, and the death of both my parents.

Whatever comes next, I will survive it. I feel as though I have proven my toughness to myself at least. I cannot be broken.

 

[tinselwolverine]

Shit, dude. That's fucked up. I'm glad you were cleared, but I know this is still hard on you and will be for a while. Being accused of something so disgusting, especially by family, is one of the worst things out there.

It sure is.

Three years ago a much less serious but nevertheless a little bit similar thing happened to me when my crazy fucking bitch sister got pissed off at me and made a false complaint of domestic violence against me.

Much less serious - the responding police didn't believe her but were instructed to arrest me anyway.

The charges were dropped the next day, but I was afraid to go back into the house (the pig and I owned it together) figuring the cunt would just do the same thing again. I felt I really had no choice but to leave my mother's deathbed in Dallas and get outta Dodge.

Again, much less serious but the betrayal felt awful - it still does; I hate that fucking pig to this day; I'll hate her for the rest of my life and I'll never have anything to do with the cunt again.

 

[tinselwolverine]

In January of last year, I was arrested after being indicted by a Grand Jury on 12 counts of rape. My son (how he came into this I still don't know) was arrested the same day on four counts of rape.

Was he accused by the same step daughter?

If that's the case, the two of you shouldn't have had to go through - should have been an immediate red flag within the context of the veracity of the complaints.

 

[tinselwolverine]

No, I have no contact with them any more. I know my girls, and I am sure two of them will reach out when they turn 18. One I am not sure of.

My oldest step-daughter... well, this may seem really bad, but I honestly don't ever want to see her again. I have been asked to consider testifying in her case where she is being charged for falsifying statements, and I am not even sure I can handle looking at her from a witness stand at this point.

I know, that sounds horrible. But the damage done to my family is so immense... I just don't know if I can handle it.

I don't think it's bad not to want to have anything to do with her again at all.

I hope you do testify against her though, for yourself and for everything you went through, and also for every other man who's been falsely accused by a crazy fucking bitch in his family/household.

Far too few women who have obviously made false accusations because they're crazy or pissed off face the consequences for their crime.

 

[inkfreq]

Was he accused by the same step daughter?

If that's the case, the two of you shouldn't have had to go through - should have been an immediate red flag within the context of the veracity of the complaints.

Yes, he was accused of raping the same girl. I feel it should have been a red flag. I feel there should have been a LOT of red flags.