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LOL - heartwarming Manti Teo girlfriend dying story was a hoax

Update 6:23 p.m.: Te'o released a lengthy statement to ESPN claiming he met Kekua online, which doesn't mesh with the original narrative written in the South Bend Tribune, who reported in a profile on Te'o the two met in person for the first time after a football game. (Presumably Te'o was the one who told them they locked eyes after the football game.)

Locked eyes, met on the internet, same thing right?
 
Lol sorry, I forgot everything has to been in quotations, seeing as how none of this is real.

Swarbrick forgot to outline one huge, glaring detail in this story: Tuiasosopo. The truth will come out through him. If not, Te'o will come back in 5 years and admit he was a dumb fuck for making all of this up.
 
ImageUploadedByTapatalk1358390967.388916.jpg
 
Swarbrick looked like he was sitting on a porcupine during that interview (w/o audio or seeing it live I'm now seeing it on TV across the restaurant)
 
ESPN comments are hilarious:

"Play like a LIAR today"
"He's Mormon, so there must be at least 2 more fake girlfriends out there."
"I wish my girlfriend was a hoax"
"Manti Te'o's girlfriend really did exist. What really happened was she went back in time and she was not able to make her parents kiss at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance."
 
I knew Swarbrick was in trouble when his first response was relating the story to the MTV show Catfish.
 
ESPN comments are hilarious:

"Play like a LIAR today"
"He's Mormon, so there must be at least 2 more fake girlfriends out there."
"I wish my girlfriend was a hoax"
"Manti Te'o's girlfriend really did exist. What really happened was she went back in time and she was not able to make her parents kiss at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance."

"Typical Hawaiian, no birth certificate."

I'm not a birther, but it gave me a chuckle.

And the comments are out of control - hundreds a minute.
 
This has got to be the most bizarre thing I have ever heard. The death of his grandmother was not enough, he had to push it to another level with the death of his beloved girlfriend within hours of his grandmother's death. Did he have some big exam the next day or what?
 
Make what you will out of this:

Reagan Mauia, an Arizona Cardinals fullback, said he believes Kekua existed because he met her in person when he and other Polynesian teammates and Pittsburgh Steelers star Troy Polamalu went to do charity work in American Samoa in June 2011.

"This was before her and Manti," Mauia said Wednesday evening. "I don't think Manti was even in the picture, but she and I became good friends. We would talk off and on, just checking up on each other kind of thing. I am close to her family. When she was going through the loss of her father, I was -- I offered a comforting shoulder and just someone to bounce her emotions off. That was just from meeting her in Samoa."

Mauia said Tuiasosopo -- whom Mauia believes is Kekua's cousin -- introduced the two. After the initial meeting, Mauia said he met her at an "after-party" for all of the athletes involved in the camp.

"She was tall," he said. "Volleyball-type of physique. She was athletic, tall, beautiful. Long hair. Polynesian. She looked like a model ... "

He said it is his understanding that Kekua's mother is operating her Twitter account. He said he'd never met her mother. When told by a reporter that she apparently might not have existed, Mauia said: "No, she is real."
 
Make what you will out of this:

Reagan Mauia, an Arizona Cardinals fullback, said he believes Kekua existed because he met her in person when he and other Polynesian teammates and Pittsburgh Steelers star Troy Polamalu went to do charity work in American Samoa in June 2011.

"This was before her and Manti," Mauia said Wednesday evening. "I don't think Manti was even in the picture, but she and I became good friends. We would talk off and on, just checking up on each other kind of thing. I am close to her family. When she was going through the loss of her father, I was -- I offered a comforting shoulder and just someone to bounce her emotions off. That was just from meeting her in Samoa."

Mauia said Tuiasosopo -- whom Mauia believes is Kekua's cousin -- introduced the two. After the initial meeting, Mauia said he met her at an "after-party" for all of the athletes involved in the camp.

"She was tall," he said. "Volleyball-type of physique. She was athletic, tall, beautiful. Long hair. Polynesian. She looked like a model ... "

He said it is his understanding that Kekua's mother is operating her Twitter account. He said he'd never met her mother. When told by a reporter that she apparently might not have existed, Mauia said: "No, she is real."

so... Samoans will lie on eachother's behalf.

or maybe this chick is like a Samoan legend or something, like the Aztec god Quetzacoatl who was believed to return from the East.
 
they should run this title under Swarbrick's name on ESPN: "Jack Swarbrick: Gullible Douche"

ask him why he backed out of the Michigan series 5 minutes before kickoff
 
When he stopped, and started to pretend cry, I had to turn it. I just couldn't watch it anymore.
 
When he stopped, and started to pretend cry, I had to turn it. I just couldn't watch it anymore.

some of the tweets from Michigan's hockey team are hilarious...

"I just couldn't imagine Dave Brandon standing there talking about some chick I met online."

"Was their first date Farmville?"

but what's annoying is how is ESPN letting them get away with these ludicrous claims...

He claimed he met her in person after a game at Stanford!!!

IT'S PART OF THE GODDAMN PUBLIC RECORD YOU ASSHOLES!!!


sorry for shouting.

okay... I'm done talking about this for now.
 
I'm reading through the top twitter responses, this one had me laugh out loud:

"CBS Mock Draft: Pros: intelligent player, excellent tackling. Cons: Makes up fake dead girlfriends, possibly undersized for position."
 
Gregg Doyle: "So Bend Tribune has pulled story that exposes Te'o as a liar. The one where he met the girl. THAT's interesting."

I read the article about 2 hours ago. Click the link now, it's an error message.
 
I heard about this today too. I vaguely heard about the gf/gm story before but didn't really follow Te'o's story. The Deadspin article is revealing and tells everything, making it seem impossible that Te'o is not involved. His draft stock will take a hit.
 
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