Okay...so there's this farmer, and for him, farming is for shit.
He's about to lose the land. So anyways, one day, this traveling salesman comes by, shows the farmer a rooster, and says to the farmer, he says "this here is a stud rooster. This here stud rooster will solve all your farming woes."
So anyways, the farmer, desperate that he is, parts with his last penny to purchase the stud rooster.
BAM!!!!
Shit on the farm changes dramatically - miraculously (figuratively speaking, so as to not offend either the believers nor the atheist here) for the better.
The crops are springing out of the ground, the eggs are springing out of the chickens, the calves are springing out of the cows, and they bulls? They're pretty much just springing.
Even the farmer is finally gettin' a little action again from ol' Mrs. McDonald.
So, anyways, one day the farmer gets up and goes outside, and to his dismay - the stud rooster is laying on its back; its neck twisted, its tongue dangling out the side of its beak, and a swarm of buzzards circling overhead.
The terrified farmer rushes to the stud rooster, and kneels next to him in a panic.
The stud rooster looks up at the farmer, smiles and gives him a little wink.
"No, I ain't dyin.' It's just, if ya wanna fuck a buzzard, ya gotta play their stupid game..."